What Are You Really Hungry For?

I really picked the wrong Lent to give up sugar.

I mean who knew?

It’s a testament to my feelings for Jesus that minus a couple “hmmm these little crackers are suspiciously sweet" and "wait, this jam isn’t just fruit...” I’ve held the line for 35 days.

For the uninitiated, Lent is about giving up something you love, to make room for something you love more.

But who knew this Lent would last 2,635 days?

I used to think my sugar-love was a guilty, little pleasure. It’s not. It's is what I do to avoid my anxiety, fear, overwhelm and sadness.

Before I hit midlife, I regarded those feelings like pond scum floating on the surface of my lovely, blue lake. Pouring sugar on them sank them back down to the bottom, where they belong.

A good storm though - like a global pandemic - stirs them right back up doesn't it?

In those moments when I’m crazy, ravenous for pie, cookies, ice cream, and chocolate, it’s not because I’m hungry.

It’s because something hurts.

Jesus is helping me to sit quietly with myself and ask the question: What’s really going on here?

I’m scared.
I’m frustrated.
I’m overwhelmed.
I’m an EXTRAVERT and I don’t leave my house. This feels INSANE….

I don’t try to fix it anymore though, because I’m not broken and neither are you.

Instead, I let all the schmutz float to the surface. I try hard not to sink it because it can’t kill me.

But sugar can.

So what do I do in five days when the sugar prohibition is off?

I don’t know yet, I might have to deal with sugar like alcoholics do vodka.

I’ll keep you posted.