Get Unstuck.
On Purpose.
Build a Happy Second Half…

5. Choose Yourself. Though precious Keely, the beating red heart of the show, is only in her 30s she had a classic midlife moment when two Neanderthals showed up at her home demanding she pick one of them. I roared when she picked herself instead. For the first time in the show, Keely chose to chart her course rather than sub out her responsibility for it. The result? A possible women’s football league in Richmond. Keely is figuring out who she is apart from her history and the roles she’s played. That’s a midlife power move. What about you?

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The story of losing my religion is typical in many ways. I wasn’t mad at God exactly, after a sad, confusing season, but rather enraged by the ignorant meddling and judgmental rigidity of Christians who’d entered my story uninvited. I didn’t walk away from Christianity as much as I strolled backward out of the faith, like an outlaw from a saloon, double-barreling all of Christendom with my middle fingers.

It was charming.

But in 2009, Keller and Goff rekindled a dying flame in me with their humble, intelligent Christianity. They challenged what I thought I knew and ushered me out of a furious apostasy into a new relationship with God.

Who knew such a thing was possible in this political/religious climate?

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And while I teach personal development and believe in it, I think it’s easy to allow our Capitalist training to make personal development just another avenue for hyper-achievement and performance.

Did I meditate hard enough today? Yes? Good. Next.

Oh Lord help us.

Perhaps this is why Kendall and I just want to go shake our butts, without measuring the impact the activity has on our butts. We just want to relax and have some fun.

Maybe you should too.

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The 2023 Chamonix Firegirl Retreat is shaping up to be an epic week of mindfulness and movement, friendship, fun, deep work, and adventure, with a side of pan au chocolat and coffee on this deck, with this view, every morning.

What are you waiting for? Nobody ever regrets traveling ... and we can help you sort out the details.

Firegirl Retreats are all about getting you unstuck and on purpose. You'll leave this six-day women's retreat in the heart of the French Alps with energy, enthusiasm and a PLAN.

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The world desperately needs hope dealers because without hope, why would we fight for justice? Hope dealers choose to see the world for what it could be, not what it currently is. They choose to wrestle their own negative bias to the ground, allowing something better to rise in its place.

And since hope is a choice, not a feeling you have to wait for, you can cultivate it in yourself, right now.

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I used to think the point of the second mountain was to get to the summit, but now I'm not so sure. I think the second mountain is about defining our soul’s calling or at least the shape of it and setting out, not so much to achieve or conquer it but to dwell in it. To be absorbed by it. That’s a journey, not a destination.

If we climb the second mountain looking to conquer, perform or we expect everybody to clap, we're approaching our second mountain using the values of our first. That doesn’t work, which is why I hear people in midlife say things like:

• “I'm filling my time with volunteer stuff."

• "I keep trying things but they don't inspire me."

• "I just don't know what to do with myself and my time."

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Nobody wants to get bucked off.

I don’t either, but after doing my own work for the last decade, I know the greater danger is never getting on the horse in the first place because you’ll miss all the places the two of you could go.

Is that where you are right now? Tossed with waves of indecision? Paralyzed with fear?

Know this: You don’t have to make giant moves all at once. In fact, tiny steps daily are better for growing your habits and confidence. This is what we teach.

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The days of using willpower to stay emotionally healthy are over. If mental health statistics are an indication, our cultural obesssion with independence, competition and our big, sexy bootstraps has failed.

We must go a different direction while linking arms with our neighbors again, and not just those who think, vote and live like we do. Love Dinner is about belonging and solidarity as opposed to isolation, self-protection and boredom.

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I fasted food for the first time yesterday - for 36 hours. This is a common practice in many spiritual traditions, and while I've fasted a lot of things over the years, like coffee, Facebook, and swearing, I think Biblical fasting scared me because I didn't think I could do it.

But then everybody in my fabulous Jesus-honoring, disciple-making church, Legacy House was doing it and telling incredible stories, so I DECIDED to be brave and DECIDED to do it too. (there’s a little truth bomb in that one word, that’s why it’s all-caps.)

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I think the reason we overwork sometimes is to distract ourselves from the loneliness that awaits us at home. I think the reason people say "busy" when you ask how they are, is they'd rather show you their burly bootstraps than their Netflix and Chardonnay addiction. 

There is shame attached to being lonely, which is a problem because the way most humans deal with shame is to isolate. 

For me, midlife exposed a much greater longing for better, deeper, more regular relationships of all kinds, which is why Girl Catch Fire is set up like it is, with women's retreats, gatherings, group coaching,team and corporate coaching. 

We must relearn the value of warm-climate behavior - cooperation, sharing both burdens and blessings, believing the best in others, forgiveness, living helpfully and communally, etc. We've forgotten or never learned how to live like this and it shows. 

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