Happy vs. Full
Don’t you love the feeling of happiness? I do.
I just got back from a trip to the Pacific Northwest with my family, where we drank Rainier Beer, dunked our feet in ice-cold rivers, and climbed volcanoes that were much too steep for our fitness levels. These circumstances are GREAT for creating happiness. Here’s a little highlight reel.
But happiness is a bit of a drug isn’t it? The more we try to create it or chase it, the more we have to create it and chase it to get the same high. Plus, sometimes we’re not chasing happy as much as we’re running from sad.
Buddhists call this grasping and if it worked, people with the most resources would be the happiest.
Come now.
Fullness is a Better Idea.
While in Oregon I had a brief but very sad conversation with somebody who is wading through grief. Nobody would say that moment was fun or happy.
It was, however, quiet and rich with human compassion, which is beautiful.
And frankly, I would take that over fireworks and dancing bears any day because we need contrast. Ask anybody who’s been sick for a while how good it feels to feel good again. At that moment, they might only feel half as good as we do, but they notice it and are thankful because they know contrast.
So happiness is great but it can be flimsy because it’s only one part of the human equation. Full includes the whole spectrum - grief, joy, despair, love. So when we’re brave and stop chasing happy to distract from hard, that’s when we get full.
Plus, I think people appreciate it.
If We Allow It, Midlife Emancipates Us…
From chasing happiness like a drug.
From running away from hard, true things.
From the urge to compare and compete with others.
From the fear of suffering.
Midlife offers us the chance to get honest about our second mountain and invites us to abandon what’s unnecessary for the climb. That’s just one approach to a fuller life, and guess what the by-product is?
Happiness.
Filling Up.
So I’m taking a little time off this summer to hang with my people and learn about full, but our flagship course The Meaning of Midlife will pick back up in the fall. If you want to know when that happens, click here and we’ll keep you posted.
xoerin
ps. That’s my sister, me, and the volcano. We’re still sore.