50 Lessons From 50 Years
Today is my 50th birthday and since I’m a person who believes in milestones, I decided to make a list of 50 things I’ve learned in 50 years. Some are important, some silly, some dumb - just like life.
Here goes.
Life.
Say yes more - especially when the reason for saying no is laziness or fear.
You are capable of building the life you want if you want it badly enough, are willing to work for it and will humble yourself under a few good mentors.
Suffering is part of the deal, and it will grow you into a better human if you let it. Expect to suffer some, it provides contrast for joy.
Avocado goes with everything.
The life of Jesus is worth studying and emulating.
Some people who identify as Christians aren’t doing what Jesus said. So what? That’s on them, not Him.
God cares a lot about the widow, the orphan, the immigrant, and the poor. Be generous. Do the same.
Everybody has a story you know nothing about. So be gentle.
Get a coach/therapist to help you sort your own crazy.
Never get just one kitten - get two or five.
Nature.
Rivers and waterfalls release negative ions which are airborne mental health vitamins.
Social media does the opposite.
Trees release oxygen which we can use for breathing.
Wild, natural places are astounding and calming all at once. Get out in them.
“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts.” -Mark Twain. Go travel.
Never chain up a dog in your yard and leave him there. He wants to love and serve you.
Dogs need training in order to know how to love and serve you. Don’t skip it.
A happy dog acts like a happy toddler.
Kindness matters.
Humans are the most dangerous species on Planet Earth - not sharks.
Feelings.
“We don’t see the world as it is, we see it as we are.“ -Anais Nin.
Your feelings are important, but they misunderstand the world all the time.
Your brain steps in to help, which usually makes it worse. So don’t believe everything you think either.
Two good questions to ask are: “How true is that?” and “What else might be true?”
Nobody is responsible for your life, your happiness, or your success but you. Take it.
Surrounding yourself with Yes-Men is a terrible idea.
Surrounding yourself with people who care enough to call you on your shit is a great idea.
A great way to find people to care about you is to care about them first.
We’re neurobiologically wired to live in tribes of 40+ people. Even introverts. We don’t anymore and our nervous systems find it stressful.
Make it a lifelong habit to eat whole food, drink water, and exercise every day.
Work.
If you plan to create something original and meaningful, you will “fail” at it many times. Fear not.
Failure won’t kill you, though it feels like it. If you treat what happened like data and try again, it’s learning.
Learning to deal with the fear of failure is a top-five life hack.
Nobody nails a triple backflip on the first try. Stop expecting to and practice!
Also, you are valuable and beloved whether you perform well or not.
Your goal is not your goal. The real goal is the person you become in pursuit of your goal.
Working hard at something you care about is incredibly satisfying. Don’t dabble in it. Master it. Keep learning.
Peace is never achieved by trying to control circumstances, your environment, or others. It’s always an inside job.
Ted Lasso is the best show on television.
Gratitude is the portal to joy and contentment because “gratitude turns what we have into enough.” - Melodie Beattie
Misc.
Forgiveness is hard, bitterness is harder.
Even if what they did to you was terribly wrong, it’s still your hand to play. How will you play it? See #41.
“Living well is the best revenge.” - George Herbert
Blame is a toxic habit that gives someone else agency over your life. You can break that habit any time you’d like.
Look at and listen to people as though they are the most important thing in the world.
Saying something about someone you would never say to their face is gossip.
We could consume a lot less of the earth’s resources and be just as happy, if not more so.
“Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.” - Prentis Hemphill. Learn to set and hold boundaries.
Don’t just tell people you love them, show them.
Be irrationally hopeful, regularly thankful, and unnecessarily kind.