When Things Bite the Dust

Two more things I love bit the dust this week because of Covid 19:

Thanksgiving and The Pensacola Firegirl Retreat. Nothing I had planned for either event makes sense in the face of a growing pandemic, and neither seems very respectful to exhausted health care workers.

We’ve gotten used to this pattern haven’t we: Make cool plans. Do a bunch of work around them. Cancel them. Cry. Eat donuts.

It’s disheartening.

Remember it’s ok to feel disheartened when things you care about get creamed by Covid. You don’t have to scold your sad self just because other people have it worse. That’s a form of spiritual bypassing and it’s not helpful.

Instead, feel your discouragement, acknowledge yourself like you would a discouraged child. Then get on with your life. Here’s something that might give some context for all the feels right now.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Prior to Covid, you might have been living somewhere between levels 3-5 on Maslow’s scale because your safety and physiological needs were handled. You were working on your relationships, helping your kids do the same at school, you were connected to your team at work and progressing on innovative projects, or maybe you were even serving your community regularly in satisfying ways.

Covid broke all that.

Now you may find yourself in Levels 1-2 on the scale, with most of your focus squarely placed on keeping your bills paid, food in the fridge, taking care of your health. Maybe you worry if your job is secure or if your kids are really ok.

This is a sign you may now be living levels 1-2 on Maslow’s scale, and it is intense. Not only that, you’re probably missing the growth, esteem, and self-actualization you enjoyed pre-Covid.

But let me remind you …

You may recognize your growth more often when you’re living in levels 3-5, but that doesn’t mean you’re not growing at Levels 1-2. In fact, you might be growing more. You’re just doing it underground where nobody can see it.

We’ll likely look back at 2020 and marvel at the unexpected ways we grew because we were forced back down Maslow’s scale into places we didn’t choose to be.

The point is: Take heart, it won’t always be this. Feel your feelings and give them a little room to run. It’s ok to be sad about Thanksgiving. You’ll be more effective in whatever you’re facing if you’re not a volcano of pent-up emotion.

Also, as a self-care strategy, spread simple kindness to everybody you can today. We all need it.