4 Life Hacks from Ted Lasso
I'm not a binge-watcher...
I like to pretend I'm too disciplined for that, busy reading Chaucer or something. But on the advice of a friend, over the holiday weekend, I watched the entire first season of Ted Lasso on Appletv. To echo a comment I read on Ted Lasso's Twitter page by actress and fan Kelli O'Hara
"I love these guys so much and raced through @TedLasso like a sustenance I didn’t know I needed until I did."
Just to be clear, Ted Lasso is not a real person, he's a character played by Jason Sudeikis on what has to be the most improbable tv show ever to win a Golden Globe, a SAG, and a Peabody.
We need Ted.
What's so great about it?
There's no way a guy this earnest, kind and hopeful can survive the world we live in. There's a part of me that kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the dark and disgusting truth about Ted to come out by episode three.
But it didn't.
Ted Lasso is not really a soccer coach, he's a life coach and a good one at that. Here are four incredible tips from Season One.
Lesson One - See people for who they can be and treat them as if they already are that.
Ted spends the whole show spotting potential in people and inviting them into it, saying things like "I have a real tricky time hearing folks that don't believe in themselves," which sounds ridiculous and it is, but you can't help but trust the guy because it feels good to be around someone who believes so firmly in himself for no reason other than he decided to.
Do you see where I'm going with this?
Lesson Two - Choosing to be earnest and hopeful may not change the situation, but it always changes us.
Cynicism is a virtue in our culture because nobody wants the sucker punch, but have you ever considered the cost of defaulting to criticism and snark all the time? Being a professional critic is self-protective, but as Mama Brene says (who just had Ted Lasso on her podcast) that's armor, and while we feel safe behind it, it's incredibly heavy and lonely too.
The English football fans treat the novice American coach, who doesn't even understand the game, exactly as you would expect English football fans to treat a novice American coach who doesn't understand the game.
Ted is unwavering.
How does he do that?
Lesson Three - Goldfish are the happiest animal because they have only 10-second memories.
How would your life improve if you let people off the hook in ten seconds or less? "Well, they'd keep treating me badly," you say. No, that's a boundary issue that has nothing to do with your choice to live unoffended.
Think about it. Living unoffended? I've heard that somewhere..."Father forgive them, they don't know what they're doing..."
Ted gives this little gem to his sweet Nigerian player Sam and it's a good moment.
Lesson Four - A great apology is a skill to be learned.
A bad apology, which we've all received, sounds like "I'm sorry if you were offended," or "I'm sorry if what I did, made you feel like I did something wrong, but you are pretty sensitive."
For the love of God stop that. Ted can you show us how it's done please?
Ted: "Nate. I want to talk to you about last night. I bit your head off for no good reason. It had nothing to do with you. I am sorry and I hope you can forgive me."
Nate: "Sure coach. Of course."
That's an apology. Please write that down.
Living hopefully and earnestly into your potential, no matter the naysayers, is a skill to be learned too.
This is what life coaches do. Ted Lasso didn't care if the team won (which he was corrected for later) he cared who they became in the process. He's a life coach way more than a soccer coach.
ps. Do you need a life coach too - especially in the midlife dip? Book a free call to talk with me about it.