Are we working too hard trying to “discover our purpose” - putting ourselves under too much pressure? Author and thought leader Liz Gilbert thinks so. On Kate Bowler’s podcast yesterday she said this:
“There is a pathological obsession, and I don’t use the word pathological lightly, in this country with making sure your life has a higher purpose, rather than just having a life, which is already pretty incredible.'“
Read MoreI heard someone say once: “If I had a friend who lied to me as much as my thoughts and feelings do, I would not be friends with them.” Thoughts and feelings, while important, interpret and assume things to create patterns that make sense of the world. Unfortunately, they are usually, untrue, partially true, or potentially but not actually true.
Learning this will set you free.
But some of you are so devoted to touring the tiny dark corners of your mind and diligently recording what you find there, so you can analyze it and coddle it. You’re effectively building neural networks like highways in your brain, so thoughts that hurt you can move around quicker and more easily.
That too is a choice.
Remember what you aim at you hit. What you look for you find. So a good question might be: What’s the payoff I get for believing this? Sympathy? Attention? Avoidance of my real work? Blame? Do I get to be right? Or a victim?
Read MoreAnd you are capable of creating whatever life you want - if you want it badly enough and are willing to do the work to get it. For some of you, that means embracing your middlescence and committing to do whatever it takes to BECOME SOMETHING ELSE in your second half.
Remember the pain we feel at midlife is not a crisis, it’s a summons to quit dicking around and get serious about your purpose - your soul’s calling, that thing that will not leave you alone. There’s a reason it’s there.
And nothing will challenge your patterns harder or bring you more joy than living your purpose.
When you decide to live on purpose, all your old stories, and patterns, things you’ve avoided, come roaring to the surface, forcing you to grow or quit.
Read MoreI’m on a plane to Chicago right now. I just ordered a cup of coffee with cream and sugar. The flight is full. I’m in the middle seat. I’m using in-flight wifi to write this post.
Some might call this an over-under situation.
Are you kidding?
I left at seven, I’ll be in Chicago to meet two of my best girls by noon. I’m using the internet at 30,000 feet and someone brought me coffee, with cream and sugar which feels incredible because I just finished the Whole30, aka thirty days in the land of no cream and sugar.
Read MoreIt’s absolutely possible to change the story you’re living if it keeps you from building a life you love.
Case in point, I arrived with two nasty old stories in my head that did nothing but made me suffer. Reading over my notes from the first day, I can’t believe I ever thought them at all. That’s the power of the work Tony does and the power of coaching. I know I’m biased, but if you plan to take your life to the next level, get someone on board to help you. (You can reach out to us here.)
Read MoreI want my clients to ignite - metaphorically of course.
So many women are trying to live the second half of their lives by the old worn-out rules and roles from their first half. Lacking direction on how to do otherwise, they waste years - settling for easy and ordinary even if it fits like a pair of too-small shoes.
As the leader of this growing tribe, I know people are watching to see if I walk the talk. People will do far more of what they see you do than anything you ever say. So that is why I’m expanding my capacity, learning, reaching, and saying YES! to as many things as I can, so I can show you what a bold, imperfect, extraordinary midlife transition looks like.
So welcome! I’m Erin, I’m a writer, a world traveler, a Professional Certified Life Coach, and the founder of Girl Catch Fire. We’re in the business of second-half happiness, impact, joy, and freedom both for ourselves and you. We do that through writing, coaching, and hosting women’s retreats in astonishing places.
It took me a long time to realize that while all those things feel purposeful, they’re not my purpose. They are vehicles for purposeful living.
My real purpose is to love all the parts of myself and God and to honor the gifts He gave me by using them in creative ways - even if I’m afraid - and teaching you to do the same.
Living like this is both a choice and a lifestyle. It’s rarely easy but it’s worth it.
Read MoreAll this to say: Joy remains an inside job. The world will keep dealing lousy hands and great ones, and it’s still up to us to choose how to play them. What if we fixated on the endless gifts this life brings and lived in the gratitude that results?
Come what may.
That’s where we’re headed at Girl Catch Fire and we’d love for you to join us.
Read MoreAlso, it’s made me realize that being with people I love and serving them from a place of humility and kindness is everything, but I can’t give away what I don’t have, so mindful cultivation of that stuff is crucial.
So we’re going to do all that starting September 29th when the Meaning of Midlife Academy fires up for its fall session. If you want to talk to us about where you’re stuck and how you can begin crafting a more purposeful life full of meaning and joy and rest and service to others too, book a free breakthrough session here.
Read MoreThe midlife dip, that low, dark place where nothing feels right; that natural stage of human development which some mistakenly call a crisis, isn’t designed to last forever. It’s a precious time though, where we’re invited to drop old patterns and behaviors that no longer serve us, so we can pick up ones that do and stride toward a meaningful second half.
But if you’re so busy managing the behaviors of others - the addicts in your life, your spouse who says inappropriate things, the adult children you’re still actively parenting because their choices suck - where will you get the energy to focus on your life, your goals and what brings you joy and meaning?
As Beattie’s book says again and again: Your highest calling is not keeping others from experiencing the consequences of their choices.
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