The Way We Talk About Midlife is Dumb

Ever wonder why the word "midlife" is always followed by the word "crisis?'

Surely 26% of the US population who happen to fall between ages 40-60 aren't experiencing a crisis. Or are they?

Midlife is a normal phase of human development much like adolescence, but we talk about it like it's an illness. Or we don't talk about it at all.

That leaves people who are anxious, lost, stuck and confounded by huge changes in their identity, roles, physical health, moods, hormones, relationships, passions and dreams, to suck it up and figure it out alone.

Midlife is the least studied phase of human development and when you hit it at 100mph, as I did, and can't figure out what's wrong with you, buying a sports car or getting Botox is hardly a remedy.

Midlife is not a crisis. It's an opportunity.

God is so gracious to give us, in nature, the most perfect picture of midlife - the chrysalis. It's cliche because it's true.

When the worm wraps itself in the chrysalis, it releases an enzyme that literally dissolves its entire wormy body into a bit of goo, until all that remains are tiny bits called imaginal discs - I'm not making this up.

In those discs, is the genetic coding required for butterfly parts to form, but they are inert until the worm surrenders and deconstructs.

You see where I'm going with this right?

God designed YOU with a purpose before the foundation of the earth. That purpose is inside your imaginal discs. It can be an Oprah-sized purpose or a tiny Grandma-sized purpose. It doesn't matter. It's yours, and at midlife it gets louder and demands a chrysalis.

For some, the noise becomes deafening. Ask me how I know.

Now, you can ignore it and keep inching along in your wormy state, trying to do all the same worm things you've always done, or you can do the brave thing and start spinning your chrysalis.

I spent the last two years figuring all this out - the hard way, but I'm out of the chrysalis now and I know some things about living on purpose.

Here's a big one:

It costs everything you were never meant to have, and it's worth every penny.

Maybe that sounds too self-focused or self-centered, but it shouldn't. Do you know how many people are trying to save the world - living a butterfly's purpose in a still-wormy body?

Lots!

And over time it doesn't go well.

I'm starting a new coaching group in January called The Meaning of Midlife, where we help you find your purpose, raise your voice and build a happy second half.

But all of that requires chrysalis work and I know the way. You may be in there a while, but you won't be there alone, there will be others hanging right alongside you - doing their work too.

You can find out more about The Meaning of Midlife here.

I wonder if joining us isn't the best thing you can do for yourself at the dawn of a new decade? To surrender to midlife and see what it has to offer, rather than ignore, medicate or shop your way through it.

You are not crazy. You are not broken. You are simply ready to become something else.